Breaking News: Trump TACOs on WWW3 Wednesday
The emerging crisis between Iran and Israel requires strong diplomacy, impeccable credibility, and strategic excellence. We have Trump and Kegseth. But MTG just may save us all … 😳
I feel dirty.
Marjorie Taylor Greene and I are in profound lockstep. For the first time since the conspiracy-gobbling Q-anon Queen slid into a House seat, I find myself agreeing with her. I can see myself inviting her to brunch. I’ve already planned the menu: boiled peanut sushi wrapped in cornbread crumbs and lutefisk crisp finger sandwiches (Minnesota REPRESENTS), with an aperitif of moonshine Jell-O shots. I’m skipping straight to those, and my stomach will be empty. Darling Marge, red hats off to you. We agree:
“I don’t think we should be fighting wars on behalf of Israel, and many Americans agree with that. I’m one of those Americans that are sick and tired of the narrative that we’re constantly told that we’re supposed to hate some country that’s overseas …”
She redeems this bit of wisdom, by the way, by asserting that “I’ve never seen a Houthi, or a hooty, or however you pronounce it. I don’t even know what they look like” Never change, Marge. Stay trashy.
She posted the closest I’ve ever seen to criticism of her gilded god by siding with Tucker Carlson, who is also tussling with Trump over involvement with the Israel/Iran/US proxy war. Trump called him ““Kooky” Carlson” for his views on the matter:
“Tucker Carlson is one of my favorite people. He fiercely loves his wife, children, and our country.” Greene wrote on the social platform X. “He unapologetically believes the same things I do. That if we don’t fight for our own country and our own people then we will no longer have a country for our children and our grandchildren .. that’s not kooky. That’s what millions of Americans voted for.”
I’m realizing that the “America First” division of MAGA just may save us all. Schadenfreude makes for a strange bedfellow. Marge hasn’t ever seen a “hooty” in Georgia or in Washington, after all. This must surely mean that they’re irrelevant, in Q-MAGA HQ.
I’m less certain of my feelings about the war. Absolutely, I know it’s “bad” to bomb and bunker bust without clear justification. But I am reading reports that Iranian civilians aren’t in lockstep with the regime. Some are celebrating the bombing campaign - expressing hope that Israel’s goal is toppling, not the stated goal of eliminating a widely disputed nuclear threat. I’m not suggesting that I’d enthusiastically go to war for this reason (especially with a son of draft age), but I’m slightly warmer to that concept. Freeing people yearning for this seems more noble than blasting through underground facilities and potentially releasing a Chernobyl-scale radiation plume. Radiation clouds cannot be reasoned with; I’d imagine they may spread to the Gulf, which would impact oil output. This always seems to be a compelling bottom line for U.S. foreign policy dictates, rather than the millions of lives that would be impacted by the fallout. This is assuming that our foreign policy spy extraordinaire, Tulsi “gal rocking that skunk stripe” Gabbard is wrong about their lack of progress in joining the Mile High Nuke Club.
Signs point to an inevitability: Trump seems to be gearing up for war:
Over the weekend, aviation watchers noticed around two dozen of U.S. Air Force KC-135R and KC-46A tankers being deployed to Europe. Such aircraft are necessary to refuel warplanes conducting forward operations from afar and reports later tied their movement to tensions building in the Middle East.
There is also the matter of Trump’s ominous tweets, warning Iranian civilians to evacuate Tehran and asserting that “we” have control of Iran’s airspace. Call me naive, but that seems kinda, sorta plural. They/they’re, for MAGA jabs.
I’m also no strategic planner, far less a military guru, but I’d like to imagine that allies who declare war do so with a clear goal and a strategic plan. Israel seems to have a problem with developing one script and sticking to that narrative. Is this a regime change, or an attempt to bring Iran back to the negotiation table? Trump is TACO’ing all over this mess, as Trump does:
‘TACO’ Syndrome could tempt Trump to ride the wave of Israel’s success and join the war against Iran. Israel cannot eliminate the Iranian nuclear program on its own and is reliant on a capricious American president with a tendency to capitulate. Can Trump resist the temptation to clamber aboard Israel's fast-moving bandwagon and declare himself the leader who neutralized the Tehran threat?
So, Marge: Girl, I made the luscious peach moonshine shooters just for you. I’m partial to the Juicy Lucy flavor. Let’s clink mismatched glasses and salute time for cooler heads to prevail. No, love - not yours. Stick to your lane, and focus on whether Jewish space lasers are going to make an appearance. G6 leaders need to weigh in, and I’m cheering for the MAGA faction who have zero quibbles with vanishings innocent kids to gulags but will bleat on about ‘Murica First’. Those two views are in perfect alignment with each other, and I deeply resent that I’m finding any common ground with any of them.
Look what you made me do, Tactical Trump (the bigliest, bestest tactician). I’m cozying up to MAGA Marge and her Murica Mentality Mob.
There’s a strong anti-war movement in the U.S. Obama campaigned on that message, but ultimately broke that promise. It was a major disappointment to see us entangled across the Middle East with no clear justification. At one point, the CIA and Pentagon were even backing opposing factions. Like it or not, we’re already entangled with Iran in one way or another. Ted Cruz’s recent slip-up sounded less like a gaffe and more like a Freudian admission.